The Fear in My Doctor’s Eyes
The Fear in My Doctor’s Eyes
One of ISEPP's members, David Rose, wrote this poem to express his frustration in connecting with someone to explain his journey in Vietnam.
The Fear In My Doctor's Eyes
I have seen the fear in their eyes
When they first realize
What I did during the war
And my issues we have yet to explore
One of my docs even backed away
I'm over my head, as if to say
So he referred me to another doc
I'm tossed around like a dirty old sock
I was referred to an in-patient facility
Do I really have that much instability
I wasn't admitted in though
They said I needed more time to grow
I was actually rejected
For the reason I should have been selected
That's like going to the doctor for a vaccine
And he says you're too sick to be seen
I wish I knew what my docs are thinking
When they stare at me without blinking
My PTSD must be rather severe
When they look at me with such fear
Well, for what it's worth now....Here I am. Let me listen to your story. I won't have much to say, because I will listen. If you have lived through it, then I can listen to you tell me about it. No, I'm not even a non-combat veteran. But I'm ready, willing, and able to listen. After all, it's MY "duty, honor, and Country, too". For what that's worth. And yes, there ARE "Veterans' Listening" websites out there. Welcome home.
Fear is a reaction to the unknown; most people in our culture have little understanding of what happened in Vietnam. Our government has lied from the beginning about military culture in Vietnam during the war, especially during the waning years of the debacle. While different soldiers had different experiences, many soldiers found themselves in a ghoulish quagmire that left civilized society a distant memory. The US government would alleviate much undue suffering by Vietnam vets by accepting responsibility for the widespread breakdown of law and order during the Vietnam War. Best wishes, Steve
I found it moving that someone had so much trouble in getting listened to by so-called "professionals" for his PTSD experiences as a veteran. Maybe he should try a priest or clergyperson, as they, at least, are committed to see everyone without judgement and to offer forgiveness and understanding -- healing -- to those who come, in trust, to them. I pray this veteran will find someone to listen and assist. Also, God does listen -- always. I will pray for you that He sends someone to you in additional to Himself.